Last night, as I closed my eyes, my mind went back to that thought I shared earlier — when did we stop saying goodbye?
And the more I sat with it, the more I realized… maybe it wasn’t really about the goodbye at all.

Have you ever felt a small pinch of disappointment and couldn’t immediately explain why?
Like something tiny happened, but it touched something bigger?

I think that’s what happened to me.

I recently moved to a new town, a new country(US), a new rhythm of life.

Back in Kenya, community was easy. Conversations flowed. Friendships formed naturally. You didn’t have to wonder where you stood — you felt it.

Here, everything feels slower. Quieter. More guarded.
And maybe, without realizing it, I expected my heart to settle faster than my life did.

There’s this one person I found myself hoping could become a friend. You know that feeling — when the door seems open.
“Call anytime.”
“Text me whenever.”
And so you do… and the energy doesn’t quite meet you there.

Have you ever found yourself filling in the gaps for someone else?
Making excuses. Offering grace. Saying maybe they’re busy, maybe it’s the kids, maybe it’s just today.

And maybe… maybe it’s simply who they are.

That realization can sting — not because anyone did something wrong, but because hope quietly went unanswered.

I’m relearning something about myself.

I want peace with everyone. I want harmony. I want connection. And sometimes, I give more than what’s being offered — not because I’m needy, but because I’m open.

But openness without boundaries can lead to disappointment.

So I caught myself gently last night and said:
Hey Debbie… slow down. Hug yourself. Stop expecting so much from people you know so little about.

Maybe this experience is inviting me to love my own company a little more.
To let friendships grow at their pace — not my longing.
To remember that my worth isn’t measured by how quickly someone meets me where I stand.

Maybe it was never about the goodbye.
Maybe it was about learning when to pause and not to expect.

Have you ever been there too?

And just to be clear — this isn’t me saying goodbye doesn’t matter.
I still believe in closure. I still believe in kindness. I still believe that how we end things says something about us.

Goodbye should never be neglected. Even a simple one.

But as I sat with this longer, I realized the goodbye itself may have only been the surface. The real weight was underneath it.

Maybe it wasn’t that someone didn’t say goodbye — maybe it was that I was expecting more. More warmth. More intention. More friendship than had actually been offered.

And that’s on me to notice, not to blame myself, but to understand myself better.